Author Archives: karnok

About karnok

A legendary ninja.

Status Update

I need something, or perhaps someone, so badly. I’m 29. So much of my life gone. I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Nothing has added up. It seems I did musicals to make friends that I never … Continue reading

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Passage

Feeling strangely emotional and outside of time. I watched a home video of myself and some friends in year 12 from 2002. Instantly familiar faces, but now they just look like kids, these teenagers who were once my peers. It’s triggering a stream … Continue reading

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Flat

Still lost. Can’t create any new music. So many possibilities but they all feel empty. Just bland, logical sequences. I don’t know how to understand my emotions, music itself. I guess nobody fully gets it so I shouldn’t worry. Just … Continue reading

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Time

Keep thinking about this person. I think it’s just reminding me of how isolated and alone I feel. I really liked her and felt comfortable around her. But there were plenty of red flags. The problem is finding those positive … Continue reading

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Cowardly Old Planet

There is too much hatred in me. Well, not really. Just a lack of satisfaction that I’m happy and doing what I want to do and making progress, making a positive difference. Sometimes I think I just need to relax … Continue reading

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The War on Ourselves

I basically have no political opinions. Or it seems like that. I always end up playing the Devil’s advocate in political discussions. Focussing more on the logic itself and *why* someone believes a particular thing and others believe something else. Not … Continue reading

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Preface

Trying to create a life. Disappointments all in a row. What do I have to complain about? This harsh feeling I can’t escape. I’ll never be valuable. That’s how I feel. The few skills I have are unappreciated. It’s very … Continue reading

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