The Illusion of Control

Those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach. Because if you’re good at things, the last thing you want to do is share it, to help others learn how to be as good. To break the status quo and actually inspire people. You want to keep your secrets to yourself. You’ve got to market it. Milk it for all it’s worth. Work your way up a prestigious company. It’s funny, I have this ability and everyone loves me for it. I’m not complaining! What’s that? Huh? People are struggling? Maybe they should toughen up and get a job, ’cause it’s not my problem.

We don’t question doctors. Well, actually many people do. But when it comes to teachers, everyone thinks they know everything. A phenomenon known as bikeshedding. You wanna design a nuclear power plant? Go for it, no-one will question your design. You’re the expert, right? But if you’re a teacher, people have some idea of what you’re actually doing. How it might work. Hence, they assume that it’s easy. The more sense your job makes, the more people will judge the way you do it. The more bullshit your job is, the less shit you get from people because they assume it’s complicated and you know exactly what you’re doing.

It’s funny, this theme of superficial, external control. Wanting to be in charge without knowing the details, without getting your hands dirty. Deliberately ignoring things. Playing dumb to benefit yourself. It doesn’t work. It inevitably collapses. Corruption becomes entirely transparent. Every little bit counts. Find out what you can get away with. Forget about it. Repeat. You’ve lost every ounce of innocence without realising it. True power as opposed to… artificial power. Or some such. This is live thinking, man. Like pulling on the wrong part of a cord. Creates a knot. You’ve got to make sure you can see what you’re doing. If it’s solving the problem or making it worse.

Who cares if teaching is a profession? Why do we draw up such barriers? If we believe in life-long learning, we should be more interactive and open about our jobs, our lifestyles. But alas, there’s something about wearing a nice, clean suit that just doesn’t mix with coal mining. I like to be reminded how much better I am than other people. I still want to feel the pay-off of those years of study. I deserve more money. Selflessness is a fanciful, impractical ideal. Nobody really believes in that stuff. Everyone else is a hypocrite so it’s okay. I contemplate a small lie. Justify it. Make up for it. Now I’m even. Surely there are janitors that do more work than some lawyers. Do people really deserve respect and rights based on their occupation? Based on the current clichés in vogue for their line of work?

It’s funny, the modes that exist within people. The “smiling for a camera” mode, the “write an important e-mail” mode, the “awkwardly fake smile at someone passing by” mode. These bizarre depersonalised acts we automatically transition into. Whatever, I’m being too vague. It’s never too late to breathe new life into these modes. I used to call them mons. Very similar meaning. Where did they come from? Why do we choose to believe others when we constantly lie? Trying to uphold a vision of the world we never truly believed. The main thing that separates us from the animals. Cevution. Sub-conscious learning. Happens often without our being aware. That’s the funny thing. We’re better at having fun and learning (among other things) when we’re not consciously thinking about it. The reason people forget things is because they’re interfering with their memory. It’s not our brains that are broken, it’s the way we’re using them. A good approach is to learn how to respect your own abilities. Don’t arrogantly take over control. Just trust them.

Have I been doing much? Sure. But nothing compared to what I could have been. Time to take back control. Isn’t it? Like a statement. Should rhetorical questions end with a question mark?

Is self-diagnosis possible? What would other people give to be like you? To have the things you have? How you can you reveal your true self to yourself, to the world? How do you know for sure what your motivation is? Extra terms dilute the meaning. They distance themselves from raw truths. An inner source of support.

It’s easy to sense the burdens a person carries. The passion within. The frustration, confusion, self-deception. I need better words. A way to just shout out what’s going on. To calmly release it. Nice contradiction. To crystallise it and keep it for later. If only every thought and feeling could be captured. Stored indefinitely. Whenever you wanted, you could summon them. The skills required of an actor. A healthy emotional being. The human brain as an information system. Are you convinced of reality’s importance? What is your assigned task in this world? Consume information and leave trails of art and culture and technology behind?

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About karnok

A legendary ninja.
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