Absent Horizon

Eminem. All these cameras with lights on. Gives a good indication of how many people don’t know how to turn off the light on their phone or who don’t care. I’m not sure that light is helping brighten up the stage all that much. Then it rains and you do your job. Paranoid but relaxed. Going sideways. For the rest of your life. Until you realise it’s your last day. Oh well. The years were nice, I guess. Nobody can teach it to you. But they can try to shake you off the wrong path. Why do you cling to it so tightly?

Always found it confusing with electromagnetism, any polar or binary force. I guess it’s just a confusing notion. Why doesn’t everything just neutralise? I guess it does overall. But you can have local separation. Energy’s got to remain the same. So, they’ll revolve around eachother. But never actually cancel eachother out. Forever entangled. But they might separate and find another place to go. When will physics explain the soul? We don’t even have a real science of the living yet, imho. Not in the right way. We intuitively know life is a strange and amazing thing and don’t yet have a good language or scientific way of approaching it. Can’t remember. The worst feeling. It is lost and you’ll never get it back. Forgiveness will never be yours.

Darkness pervades every moment. Why can’t I make them see? Why does it matter? Is this what they call quantum entanglement? Who do I follow? Your self-worth plummets on the word of another. What sense does that make? An inability to inhabit your own body. To be who you actually are. The deepest fear and loathing. In Las Vegas. You knew it was coming! Every post has a retarded bit! It creeps in. The edgy cynicism. A block that won’t go away. Re-reading does nothing. The moment is gone. The realisation can’t be recreated. You are obsessed with that eternally lost sensation. You don’t know how to exist. How to have a presence and assert yourself on your surroundings. The world was made for you. Trust was put on you. Don’t let them down!

The line between ambiguity and its cousin. Trying to force the play. Set up the trap. They fill in the gaps and write their own story. Training wheels. When you’re alive, you don’t need words. You just go wherever you like. Every part of you is affected. Just absorb more. When those emotions are released. What’s really happening? Why the need to know? To prevent further mishaps? Perhaps? Young chaps? 5 minutes used to be forever. Now it is the blink of an eye. Or it was. For a while. A dark time. So much changed. But now you return. It’s the same and different. Hard to tell. You took a risk and now you’re experiencing the side-effects. You knew this was coming.

Fatigue. Living a lie. Why don’t people do what they want to do? Imprisoned by the way we think of others. Endlessly kind and hypocritical. Our goal was always impossible. Who would read this? At least they did things. Had a quality you could only ever imitate. If you’re not sure. Just move. Or should you stay still? Don’t stress about it. Never stress. Looking for inspiration. Found it. If only.


About karnok

A legendary ninja.
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